Thank You For Arguing has surprisingly been quite
an influential book. I did not expect to get as much out if it as I am. There
have been times when I am with my friends and they are texting their friend or
boyfriend fighting about something and they bring different points into the
conversation that just make it worse. I found myself telling them that they are
straying away from the real issue and that it will not help them get what they
want out of the argument.
I also took note of the tense they were using
while arguing and which methods they were using back and forth against each
other. I told my friend to use the future tense to help make the change in the relationship
and achieve the ultimate goal, which would be to come up with a consensus. I
told her that what she really wants is for her boyfriend to make the choice
that she wants him to make so using what would be “deliberative rhetoric” is
the way to go since it promises a payoff. It is not smart to go back in the
past and blame each other for things because that will only cause a fight,
which I learned is different than an argument. Thank You For Arguing taught me that a fight is trying to win and
it never persuades anyone. An argument is trying to win over an audience and
get people or someone to do what you want. These first five chapters in Thank You For Arguing have taught me a
lot and I am really enjoying it because it is something I can actually use on a
day-to-day basis.
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